I Wanted Everything
by xoheartinohioxo
Summary: What would you do if you were finally getting everything you wanted, all your dreams seemed to finally be coming true, but then a skeleton from your past comes crashing out of the closest? Brooke/Lucas centered
1. Chapter 1

**I Wanted Everything**

_Italics_ are thoughts, _**Bold**_ _**Italics**_ are memories/flashbacks.

What would you do if you were finally getting everything you wanted, all your dreams seemed to finally be coming true, but then a skeleton from your past comes crashing out of the closest? When life seems hell bent on stealing everything you've worked so hard for, do you run away from it? Or do you fight like hell to make your dreams come true?

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**Chapter 1: Why did you keep this from me?**

You look at him, tears are steadily building up in the corners of your eyes. He's staring at you, so many conflicting emotions run through you. You're upset, this isn't how he was supposed to find out. You're worried, what if he doesn't hear you out?

_This cannot be happening to me, not now of all times. Just when everything was finally perfect for us…_

"Brooke... tell me this doesn't say what i think it does. Please Brooke, please tell me you haven't kept something this huge from me for more than 4 years."

He keeps staring at you, clearly waiting for you to say something, anything to explain that horrible piece of paper he holds in his hands.

"I…"

Nothing. You can't even begin to form the words. How do you explain a piece of paper that just told your fiancé that he was supposed to be a father? You don't think you're even capable of explaining it to him, it's been so long since you let yourself think about it.

"Brooke, look at me damn it! Why did you keep this from me? Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant, that I was a father?"

His whole body shakes with anger and you silently think that you've never seen him anywhere near this mad. Not when you slept with Chris, not even when he thought Jimmy had killed Keith. This is bad, really, terribly bad.

"Are you that selfish Brooke? Are you really so selfish that you would just have our child and never think to tell me? What kind of person does that?"

"Is that really how you think of me Luke? Do you think that I would just keep something like this from you all for my benefit? You don't know a damn thing Luke!"

You try to hold back the sob as you think back to that day four years ago.

**"Miss Davis, I'm sorry ma'am but the babies didn't make it. We aren't really quite sure what happened, we think an increased amount of stress may have been the main factor but we can't tell for certain."**

You just look up at her with a blank stare at first, it doesn't sink in right away. After a few moments of processing, you swallow over the lump in your throat and try to speak.

"Ex- excuse me, did you say babies, as in more than one?"

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry I know this is a lot to take in, but you were pregnant with twins."

"Oh. Okay, thank you."

You silently grab your purse and walk out of there as fast as your legs will take you. The next few hours are an alcohol induced blur, all you remember is downing a bottle of whiskey at some seedy little bar. You think the bartender put you in a cab but at this point you don't even care. It's past midnight when you fall in to your bed and no matter how hard you try to fight it, the tears won't be stopped. So for the rest of this miserable night, you cry.

"I didn't have a baby Luke," you shake your head in an attempt to stop the tears from falling "I didn't…"

"What are you talking about Brooke? It says right here that you were pregnant during senior year."

"I didn't have a baby Lucas… I miscarried."

You see the guilt rush to his face and you just laugh bitterly. Of course, now he'll feel guilty. You can see it just by the way he's staring at you with those intense eyes of his. It's as if he's looking inside of you, and right now it just upsets you even more.

"Don't Luke. Don't look at me like that, like you suddenly feel so sorry for me. You could have just given me some time to speak, you didn't have to assume such horrible things about me… but you did."

"Brooke, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that, you're right. I was just upset that you had kept something so important from me, my mind just jumped straight to the worst possibilities I could imagine."

He grabs your hand softly, "I love you Brooke, please don't push me away okay? Don't push me away, just let me in on this."

You laugh to yourself, because really, how rich is that, Lucas Scott begging to be let in.

"It sucks doesn't it, feeling like the person you love isn't letting you all the way in to their heart?" You run a hand through your hair in an effort to calm your nerves. "I'm sorry Luke, I don't want you to think I'm being a bitch here, but I won't lie to you, in a way the hurt high school girl finds it very satisfying to see you finally feel the pain I felt when you couldn't or wouldn't just let me all the way in."

He has the decency to look properly ashamed at the reminder of his old ways.

"What does this mean Brooke? Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Luke, I really just don't know…"


	2. Chapter 2

**I Wanted Everything**

_Italics_ are thoughts, _**Bold**_ _**Italics**_ are memories/flashbacks.

What would you do if you were finally getting everything you wanted, all your dreams seemed to finally be coming true, but then a skeleton from your past comes crashing out of the closest? When life seems hell bent on stealing everything you've worked so hard for, do you run away from it? Or do you fight like hell to make your dreams come true?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Chapter 2: Where do we go from here?**

"_**What does this mean Brooke? Where do we go from here?"**_

"_**I don't know Luke, I really just don't know…"**_

It feels like the two of you have been sitting there in silence for hours, when in reality it's only been a few minutes. Stubbornness keeps either of you from saying a word, but you can't stop yourself from glancing at each other. You go back and forth, each of you hoping the other will crack and speak first.

"_**Tell me that was a goodbye kiss."**_

"_**I want to be with you, Brooke."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**I'm sorry. I know we're friends… it's just how I feel."**_

"_**What about Peyton's stuff?"**_

"_**I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things. With you. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again."**_

"Do you remember when you told me the reason you kept that box of stuff from your relationship with Peyton? You said that you kept it to remind yourself of how badly you had screwed things up"

"Of course I remember," he tells you looking quite understandably confused. "What does that have to do with you not telling me that you were pregnant?"

"It's hard to explain Luke." You shake your head, as if that will clear all the jumbled thoughts you have. "In a weird way, that's why I kept the results of the pregnancy test, even after I found out I had miscarried. I could never fully accept that we weren't going to have a child together, we were never going be a family one day. You were with Peyton, and I know that was my fault for pushing you to her, but I still loved you Luke, it never went away."

"Okay," He nods his head in understanding. "I get that, I understand why you kept it Brooke. It's just… I still don't understand why you never told me. Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant to begin with Brooke? I would have been there for you, I would have helped you and supported you." He tries to keep his emotions in check but it's obvious that he's struggling. "I would have cried with you when you found out you weren't…" He's choking back the tears now and it kills you to see him like this. All you want to do is wrap your arms around him and hold him while he cries. But you can't, you have to let him get it out. "When you found out that you lost our child."

Both of you are full on sobbing at this point, but the conversation isn't over. You can't just tell him some lame excuse, you have to tell him everything. After more than four years you're finally going to be honest about senior year. And that scares the shit out of you, more so than anything you could imagine right now.

"Lucas, there's something I have to tell you before I can really be honest with you about why it was so impossible to tell you about the pregnancy."

"What are you talking about?" His face shifts from sad to worried in a split second. This isn't going to be good. "What else could you possibly have to tell me Brooke?"

"It's about our breakup, Luke. I wasn't completely honest with you…"

AN: So there's chapter two! Don't hate me for leaving it with a cliff-hanger of sorts, I had to or this chapter would go on for forever!

Reviews: Thanks to **dianehermans**, **tanya2byour21**, & **Long_Live_BRUCAS **for your reviews! And thanks to everyone who has added this story to your Alerts!

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IT MAKES ME UPDATE FASTER =]


	3. Chapter 3

**I Wanted Everything**

_Italics_ are thoughts, _**Bold**_ _**Italics**_ are memories/flashbacks.

What would you do if you were finally getting everything you wanted, all your dreams seemed to finally be coming true, but then a skeleton from your past comes crashing out of the closest? When life seems hell bent on stealing everything you've worked so hard for, do you run away from it? Or do you fight like hell to make your dreams come true?

**Chapter 3: If only it were that simple**

"_**I'm sorry I kissed Peyton. I should have told you."**_

"_**It's not about that Luke, it's not… I thought that it was but this is not about her, this is about me."**_

"_**I love you, Lucas, and I probably always will…"**_

"What is it Brooke, what weren't you honest about?" He looks at you sharply, "It WAS because I kissed Peyton, wasn't it?"

You look at him sadly, if only it were that simple. Sometimes you wish it really was just your insecurities over that stupid kiss, but it wasn't, and he needs to know the truth.

"No Luke, it really wasn't about the kiss. I promise. Maybe it helped further my insecurities, but the kiss alone, it wasn't why I had to break up with you."

"Then what is the damn reason Brooke, just tell me! I think after all these years of secrecy, I deserve to know the truth about everything."

"_**Brooke, I think I still have feelings for Lucas."**_

"_**You mean you care for him as a friend?"**_

"_**No, I mean more than that."**_

"Did you ever wonder why I was so mad at Peyton the day of Nathan and Haley's wedding?"

"Of course I did, but when I asked you what happened… you said you guys had just had a fight. I figured it was just something trivial, you guys were best friends so I didn't think much of it." He stops for a moment, it's as if it's finally clicking for him. "Brooke, what was the fight about?"

"_**I didn't wish for this, I wished for Jake!"**_

"_**Oh right, you wished for Jake, after you wished for Pete, and then Lucas.**_

_**I can not believe this is happening again."**_

"_**It's not, okay it's not. It's just, okay the last time…"**_

"_**The last time? Do you hear yourself right now? The last time you tried to steal my boyfriend? He's on the door Peyton, he's on the damn door under ME!"**_

"_**I don't wanna steal him okay?"**_

"_**But you like him…"**_

"It was about you Luke, we were fighting about you. More specifically, her feelings for you."

"Her feelings for me? What are you talking about?"

"Don't you get it Lucas? How can you be so blind?" You pace back and forth trying to decide what you're going to say. "She looked me in the eyes and told me she still had feelings for you, the night before the god damn wedding!"

"Brooke… I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No, no, do not cut me off, that's not even the worst of it Luke! It wasn't until the next morning that we really fought. I was stupid enough to try and get some logical reason out of her as to why she felt the need to try and ruin our relationship." You scoff just remembering the self-pitying routine she put on so well.

"Look Lucas, I love Peyton, she is one of my best friends, but there is not one part of me naïve enough to believe that her intentions were pure. I forgave her a long time ago, but it still hurts to think back on how little she seemed to care about our friendship when her feelings for you got involved."

"_**So this is how it ends? A 10 year friendship that survived 2 dead moms, 3 absentee parents, shoplifting, jail time… and we can't survive one boy?"**_

"_**Not one boy, Peyton, my boy."**_

"_**And he still is your boy, I told you that… Do you love him?"**_

"I get it now, she knew what my insecurities were and she played me like a fool. She talked about our friendship and not wanting me to leave, yet a few hours later, there she is, just sitting on your bed having a blast!"

"I should have listened to you Brooke, when you asked me to stay away from her that day… you don't know how many times I sat and wondered if that would have changed things. If I had just listened to you and avoided her, maybe you wouldn't have dumped me that night."

"I don't think it would have mattered Luke. Sure, I might not have been as upset as I was finding her there with you, but my mind was made up already. I was convinced that the two of you were inevitable, that the moment you found out she had feelings for you…" You let a few tears fall for your past insecurities. "I just knew in my heart that you would go running back to her. And you did."

"What do you mean, you know I tried to fight for you after that Brooke! You turned me down at every opportunity. You didn't even flinch when I gave that bullshit about not being the guy for you. That hurt Brooke, it really did. I know I made my share of mistakes, but I was so in love with you Brooke, and you just blindsided me. It makes a lot more sense now, but back then… I just felt so lost, like nothing made sense anymore."

"I know you didn't get with her right away, but the state championship was barely two months after we broke up! I know I told you it was okay that night, but I lied. I just wanted to hear you say that you wanted ME next to you, but you did exactly what I knew you would. You chose Peyton."

"God damn it Brooke, I did not choose Peyton! You made it clear the night before that you didn't love me anymore! You didn't think Whitey's story was about us, and even though I didn't agree, I went along with it because I was tired of getting hurt by you."

"How could you think I didn't love you anymore Luke? I only said that because I thought it was how you felt. I never wanted to push you away, but I got so tired of feeling like I was second best, so I finally just gave up."

"I guess we both had that problem, giving up on each other. I didn't love Peyton, I just went to her because I thought I didn't have another chance with you, because she was an easy choice. I knew that she loved me, and I knew it would be easy with her. I never should have settled for easy though Brooke, I never should have given up."

"I'm so sorry Luke, I'm so, so sorry." You wrap your arms around his neck and press your head against his chest as the tears begin to fall. "Don't you wish we could just go back and do things over? I'd fix this whole mess, I'd be honest with you as soon as she told me she had feelings for you."

"It would have been nice to know the truth, but I wouldn't go back, not to change us."

He laughs as you look up at him in confusion.

"I love you Brooke Penelope Davis, and as much as I might wish we could have been together this whole time, I wouldn't take back the drama because it's helped us in a lot of ways."

"How in the world has all this drama helped us?!" You ask as he runs his hands up and down your back. "Stop it! Stop trying to distract me Lucas Eugene Scott, it's not going to work! Explain to me how it is that any of the drama we've been through has been helpful."

"Think about it Brooke, what would have happened if we stayed together Senior year? You would have slowly become more and more insecure about Peyton, I would have grown even more confused, and we would still end up breaking up, but it probably wouldn't end up very amicable. As much as I hate knowing how manipulative she was, in the long run Peyton did us a favor."

He stops when your eyes practically pop out at that last statement.

"Oh this is going to be rich!" You exclaim with a laugh. "Please, tell me how Peyton did us any favors."

"I know it sounds crazy, but she helped me to get rid of any possible doubts. You know that I love no one else but you, there's no question about who I want to spend the rest of my life with! Can you honestly say that you would be so sure of our love today, if we never broke up and I never got the chance to see that the sparks just weren't there for me and her?"

He's smirking now, damn him for always having to be right!

"I hate it when your right, you know that right?" You tell him with a fake pout.

"No you don't, you love that I'm always right!" He pushes a strand of your hair back before softly kissing your forehead. "It's one of the things that makes me so damn attractive."

"You are so cocky sometimes! But you're right, I love that about you."

"Good, because I love everything about you."

AN: Sorry to leave you guys like that, but I didn't want to do another cliffhanger of sorts. The drama is pretty much resolved. They still have to talk about the pregnancy some more, but I don't think this story will be going on much longer! I always intended to keep it short and simple, focused on the drama of Brooke losing their children & revealing the real reason for the breakup.

AN 2: I DO have more ideas for this plot line, so I might do a sequel of sorts. It would still go along with everything that's happened in this story, but it would probably focus on them preparing to get married and feature some Naley and Peyton and what's going on in their lives.

Reviews: Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed, added this story to their alerts & added me to their alerts! I appreciate it so much.


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